PoliceForcestuck: Stuck Together 3

Officer Vantas keeps his eyes closed, “Talk? You do realize that I’d have to be fucking awake for that?”

“Please?” She begs. “I don’t want to sleep. I’ll even keep you up during your shift if you
want.”

Karkat sighs sensing the pattern that’s forming, “Fine. I’m up. I wasn’t expecting to
sleep anyway.” The troll sits up and stares droopily at his partner, “What do you want to
talk about?”

“Well, all the movies have the girls talk about boys or hair.”

“I’m not talking about stupid clichés. Haven’t you ever had a real sleepover instead of
that pretend bullshit? I’ve seen enough sleepovers from my ‘sisters’ at the Home.”

Jade looks embarrassingly over to the side, “I think the closest I’ve ever had to a sleep
over is rooming with Vriska. But she doesn’t want to do the stuff from the movies.”

“Didn’t you do any of that shit during training?”

“No, everyone was too tired. Not to mention they had this dumb idea that they were above
it. Besides, the academy was . . . complicated.”

Karkat waves his hands in between them. “No. No no no no. That will lead us to bullshit
drama that I do not need. No. This is anti-personal angst night. No.” He finally lets his
hands down, “Find something else to talk about.”

The woman is surprised by his reaction, ‘Uh okay? Well did you see the um news?”

“Did I see the news?” he repeats frowning. “Yes Jade. I have seen the news. What a totally
not vague question! Three fucking cheers for that genius idea.”

“You don’t have to be so rude!”

Karkat rolls his eyes, “Then don’t be so stupid. This was your fucking idea. Stick to it
before I get cranky.”

Jade frowns to herself, “Okay. What do you think about the whole situation with Crocker
Corporation?”

“I agree with most people,” Karkat begins while relaxing, “I think it’s great that someone
is finally coming around to clean up this town. Having a Crocker Factory in Skaia is what
we need. I’ve been practically mailing the bitch to come over here for years.”

“She certainly has made herself seen . . .”

The troll looks at Jade curiously, “You don’t agree?”

“I’m not sure. Building a whole new factory is so out of the blue. Betty Crocker hasn’t
visited this town in . . . forever.”

“Not much different from you. What it’s almost a year since you’ve arrived?”

“Yeah, but Vriska told me that Crocker would completely avoid Skaia. She’s visited every
other major city, but Skaia.”

“So? Now she’s visiting. What’s the big deal?”

Jade rubs her shoulder as if chilled, “It’s probably nothing but . . . Feferi met with
Crocker to negotiate land and licenses, and she told me that something’s . . off with that
woman.”

He scoffs, “Feferi is probably overworked. Or a bit threatened; with the publicity that
Crocker is bringing, she could probably become the next mayor. I might even vote for her.”

“She is looking into living here and becoming a citizen . . . That doesn’t bother you?”

“Nope. She’s proven better than the majority of people here. You’re probably not much
different from her.”

“But I’m working to keep Skaia safe!” Jade professes.

“And Crocker probably will too. I think only you and Feferi are suspicious of the good-
natured woman.”

“Karkat, I’ve never seen you so defensive for someone else before.”

He blinks a little dazed, “Yeah . . . That’s weird. But I guess I’ll stick to what I
believe in?”

“Hmm, well Vriska agrees with me.”

“Yeah that makes you look fucking sane. Why don’t you just have Vriska mind control her to
find out.”

“No, she can’t control humans-Oh you’re not being serious. I probably shouldn’t have said
that.”

Karkat groans to himself and leans back, “Don’t tell Vriska or she’ll kill me.”

“I think I’ll actually have to tell Vriska, but I won’t let her hurt you. You two are my
closest friends.”

“Wow what a prize. What’s the return rate? Can I exchange you for something better? Or at
least get my sanity back?”

“Haha very funny. For your information, I take my friends very seriously.” Jade gets quiet
for a second, “I want to keep everyone around.”

“With this job you could get lost. Besides every time I see you you’re with friends having
the fucking time of your life.”

“You think I have a lot of friends?”

“Can I not? Seriously can I not? Most of your friends annoy me. Except Kanaya, she’s okay,
but I think her hanging out with that Rose woman is messing with her head.”

Jade looks out at the stars, “I never would have thought of myself as popular.”

“Oh Grub,” he rubs his face with his hand, “Are you that self-centered?”

“No it’s not that. I just didn’t grow up with a lot of friends. Even at the academy.
Especially at the academy.”

Karkat rests on the armrest, “But what about that guy you were talking about before . . .
to Vriska, and that girl?”

She blinks astonished, “I’m surprised you heard that.”

“I listen to you sometimes,” he shrugs not really caring.

“Well yeah I did make a few friends there and I still manage to keep contact with them.
I’m thinking about planning a trip so that they can meet Vriska.”

“So what are they like?” he questions a bit sleepily.

“Okay well,” Jade brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, “one of my friends, Jane, is
pretty nice. She has this weird bakery and joke shop at the Capital where she works with
her dad. I met her through one of my fellow cadets Jake. He’s a good guy, but I think he
only joined the force for action.”

“He must be disappointed.”

“No actually. He still finds a thrill from helping people in little ways; even if that’s
by handing out speeding tickets. Jake’s kind of goofy.”

“No wonder you’re friends.”

The woman smiles at her partner, “I’ll take that as a compliment Mr. Grumpy.”

“So they are your only friends at the Capital?”

“I guess,” she answers while biting her lip. “I had people who were friends with Jake and
Jane, but I didn’t connect with them as well. Those two were really weird.”

“Well then I don’t see how you wouldn’t fucking connect with them on the spot.”

Officer Harley rolls her eyes, “Ha ha. Very funny. Will you be serious with me for a
second? They’re a bit uncomfortable for me to be around. Like they’re nice people but . .
.”

“But?”

“They are really into conspiracies.”

“So their think pan is too full of bullshit like yours,” Karkat responds getting more and
more into the conversation.

“No. They think the whole government is out to get them. I just think Crocker is strange.”

“Totally different.” Jade sighs and looks out at the warehouse to find nothing going on.
Officer Vantas stares at her realizing he’s gone too far, “Listen Jade I-“ she turns to
him, and Karkat can’t finish his sentence.

After a few seconds of awkward silence Jade steps up, “I’m not going to cry if that’s what
you think. I can handle myself.” Karkat just wants this night to be over with.

“I didn’t think that. . . So you never did explain why you didn’t connect with many people
back then.”

“I don’t know if you’d relate if I said I was an outsider.” He gives her an annoyed look.
“Oh right, sorry. But you know with your blood, you can at least hide it.”

“Jade hiding it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. And I do it every
fucking day.”

The woman cuddles up to herself, “I didn’t realize the strain it puts on you.”

“Well I doubt I would be all sunshine and fucking rainbows if I maroon blooded. But I
still don’t see how you’re an outsider. You’re a normal human.”

“But I’m not!” Jade brings her legs up to curl into a ball. “I’m a freak.”

Karkat looks at her with no concern on his face, “Seriously Jade? You’re a freak? I know
that I can be harsh on you, but get over yourself. No one is calling you a freak.”

“Not here, and even then I’m not sure.”

“Jade I-“

“People seem to like me; though I don’t know if I’ll ever be normal.”

Her partner is starting to be annoyed, “Okay enough of your pity party. First off, you’re not a freak. Second, being normal is overrated. It’s the people that aren’t normal that
get shit done. Third, you can’t keep talking to me like this if you aren’t going to tell
me why. So stop whining and learn to talk. You might not be crying, but you’re still just
as annoying.”

She looks at him impressed, “I see why you make such a good moirail.”

“You bet on your fucking life I am. I don’t even know how Vriska could deal with you.”

“I was a lot worse when I talked her,” Jade says with a small smile on her face. “Hmm I
told you before that my parents died shortly after I was born so my grandpa raised me.”

“I remember.”

“Well that turned sour quickly. My grandpa was paranoid. I was his only family left and he
didn’t want to lose me, so I became his trapped little pet. He never let me leave the
island where we lived or let me meet anyone new. I was lucky to have Bec with me as my
friend. But it didn’t stop there; he then started researching the ability to live forever.” Jade bites her lip to calm down, “He made my dog and I his science experiments! He was so scared when he thought I might get asthma he gave me biotic lungs. Do you know how fucked up that is? Flower did you know your father had asthma? Why don’t we fix that for you? He never even asked me! Then he wanted to make the two of us immortal, so he experimented on Bec,” her voice cracks. “I told him to back off. To stop. He tried to convince me otherwise, but I wouldn’t let him after I saw the pain on Bec’s face. Surprise to me that Bec is still alive and well because of that test. But it doesn’t matter anyway because I could never let my guard down around my grandpa again. I do care about him, but I was also scared of him.”

Karkat hesitantly places a hand on her shoulder, “Jade I had no idea. You never acted like
. . . this.”

“I know,” she leans into his hand comfortably, “I try to not let it bother me, but it
does. And when I turned eighteen I demanded to leave.”

“How old where you before-?”

“I was six or seven I think. There weren’t many way to keep track of time back then. But when I was eighteen he tried to stop me so I constructed a flying machine.”

“Wait, at eighteen you made an airplane?”

“Not really, just something solar power contraption that could take me from an isolated
island in the Pacific Ocean to the Capital.”

The troll stares at her bewildered, “That’s impressive.”

“I was worried you’d call me a freak.”

“As tempting as that is. But how did you even do that?”

“Mad scientist as a guardian leads to genius inventor of a daughter,” she answers nonchalantly. “My grandpa wanted me to take his place after he died. It was pretty useful information I must admit.”

“So why didn’t you go to a real college and shit on those so called professors? Preferably in the brain area.”

“I didn’t want to become my grandpa. Besides, I wanted to help people and yet remain insignificant. What can I say? I wanted some normality. No matter how overrated it is.”

“Becoming a police officer will certainly make you feel insignificant.”

Jade snickers at the truth. “Yes, but when I went to the academy that’s when I realized
how much my grandpa had ruined me. I spent a few months using the money I had taken with
me to survive, but to also learn social interactions. That wasn’t easy since I had the
social skill of a dog. Literally.”

“So did you,” Karkat leans back to the car door a little, “You didn’t sniff anyone’s butt
did you?”

“I can tell you that people don’t enjoy that as much as dogs,” she answers sarcastically.

“Good to know.”

“And I barely got accepted into the academy. I based off all of my answers on the
psychological test from the books and movies my grandpa caught. Apparently after you save
the hostage you don’t kiss them in front of an explosion. But I was accepted since I
didn’t seem homicidal.”

Her partner holds up his hand imaging a beverage in it, “A drink to a fucking wonderful
system.” Jade pretends to clink a glass back making Karkat return a rare, but short,
smile.

“However the results of my physical exam became rumors around the academy, and they were
only proven during physical training. Because of my grandpa’s experiments, I could run,
climb or fight without a break. While everyone else would end exhausted I would be up for
more. I learned to lie later on and fake heavy breathing, but to my fellow cadets I was an
anomaly. Mix that with my mental disposition and I was lucky to make any friends, and even
they thought I was immature. I unfortunately made a lot of bad mistakes trying to get
people to like me later.” Jade rubs her head out of exhaustion or anger. “You know what
everyone said about Skaia up there? They called it a place of misfits. The city where only
losers go. Apparently the academy only deports the officers who aren’t good enough for the
Capital.”

“I know Jade, I was born there,” Karkat grumbles. “They’re a bunch of fucking brick heads
with excretes coming out of their ears. Not even their own but their fucking society. You
know if society had a physical form that could poop.”

“Nice visual Karkat.”

“My pleasure.”

“In any case the board decided that despite my excellent marks, I wasn’t capable of being
a full-fledged officer. Instead they sent me to Skaia to have them sort me out.” Jade
covers her eyes, “I was humiliated. And my grandpa was right that I wasn’t good enough on
my own.”

Karkat pulls her hands down, “You know what Jade, fuck’em. They’re idiots to not see your
full potential. I’ll even say that they’re as stupid as me to not see how special you
are.”

“Thanks . . . but no need to get all gushy.”

“Fucking hilarious Jade.”

“No seriously you’ll make my heart explode from the love,” she jokes amused.

The male officer looks out the window, “Still no activity, what a surprise.” He turns back
to her, “So what about your grandpa? He died and you get your crap back?”

Jade bites the inside of her cheeks nervously, “Not exactly. After I graduated I went back
to see him. He was angry but willing to resolve some issues. I was just happy to see Bec
again, but when grandpa forbid me from becoming returning . . I was mad. I didn’t want to
stay there again. Now I want to remind you that he was very old and a little out of it
and-“

He looks at her baffled, “Jade, did you kill your guardian?”

“It was an accident! He wanted to clear the air with some hunting on the island like we
used to. I walked off on my own and I saw something and I wasn’t thinking clearly and I-I-
I-“

“Fuckingshitasscocksucker!”

“I know! I tried to save him but there wasn’t anything I could’ve done. I called the
authorities and they wrote it off as a minor hunting accident when they visited.”

“They didn’t arrest you?”

She looks down, “I might have lied just a bit. He was so old they believed me that-“

“Jade! You fucking killed a guy!”

“Karkat I-I understand if you want to report me. I deserve some jail time,” Jade admits in
a doleful tone.

He groans annoyed by the situation, “I’m not going to do that. Besides, there are millions
of free people who deserve imprisonment more than you. I believe you that you didn’t intend to do it.”

They stare at each other in silence, “Again thank you Karkat. I appreciate you listening
to me.”

“Yeah I guess it wasn’t as horrible as I imagined. But how did Vriska react when you told
her about the ‘accident?’”

“Oh she said The bastard fucking deserved that bullet, and she would’ve shot him herself
if he was still alive.”

Karkat just looks up as if that’s a perfectly acceptable response, “Of course she would.”